Today, we checked in to the fabulous Savannah Gardens Inn, in Savannah, GA...and by fabulous, I mean filthy-roach- infested-trash-ridden-protein-spill-on-the-sheets...dump.
Now before you say or think anything to the effect that I may be over reacting, please read this...
I am not the kind to exaggerate. I often make stories sound lame BECAUSE I lack the urge to blow things out of proportion. I am mellow, collected, and very, very patient.
Upon hearing of the first case of a cast member room infestation, I brushed it off. Bugs happen, I thought to myself. People exaggerate and will find anything to complain about with only three weeks left of tour. Also, included in the first dirty room report, was a protein stained bed sheet...which for those of you who never had to learn the family friendly theme park way to say it, means man juice (at least in this particular case). Again, I brushed it off. So someone forgot to change a sheet in one room...no biggy...a little gross, but no reason to get your panties twisted up in knots.
Unfortunately though, panties hadn’t even begun to bunch.
Hours later, after spending the day with my girlfriend and her wonderful new friend who drove up for an impromptu visit to see TOY STORY 3...which was great by the way, I returned to the hotel to find my roommate holding a glass with a piece of cardboard over it. Inside was the newest member of our cast...a cockroach!
Oh...excuse me, the hotel calls them “palmetto bugs”...which are “not cockroaches”- even though they are.
This was the third reported creepy crawly friend found in the third room of my immediate friends on tour. In addition to this, and again, only in these few rooms thus far, we found trash under beds, black mold in the showers, holes in the walls, more bugs and spiders, and my two personal favorites when I lifted up my own bedding...protein spill #2: a dried pee stain on the blanket, and leaves between the mattress and box spring.
Yeah, the leaves threw me a little, gave me a chuckle, but helped to remind me how freakin’ good we’ve had it on this tour.
I knew this prior to working for them, but Vee Corporation does an exceptional job with hotel booking and I really am serious when I say this. Our Savannah situation is not a normal one...heck, we just came from a place in West Palm Beach where you could order ridiculously over priced poolside food and even alcoholic beverages if you felt like it.
I know tons of tours, traveling gigs, and even stationary stock theaters out there have more hellish horror stories than this. Of that, I am sure. They’d laugh at us for going to the front desk in hopes that something could actually be done within the time of our three night stay, to rid the rooms of unwanted “water bugs”. They’d point out the fact that I am still able to use free wireless internet to post this blog, that in the morning I can enjoy a free continental breakfast (though I may re-think that one considering the cleanliness of the rest of the hotel), and that in some rooms (though not in ours) people were even lucky enough to get a mini-fridge and microwave.
We had no way of actually knowing any of this before we got here. I’m assuming that the regular chain hotels we’ve stayed at, of which there are many right down the street, were unable to accommodate our group size. Really, the outside of the hotel looks great (except the hooligans in the parking lot at night) and the lobby must have just been refurbished because it looks like an entirely different hotel than the part with all the rooms.
This is just a little reminder...something to crawl up your shoulder and whisper in your ear, “Don’t take for granted all the good that has come your way.”
So now goodnight...woah, what was that?